Everything but the Kitchen Sink
by sunstorm2
Summary: It's the summer after Harry's last year at Hogwarts and he's living in Godric's Hollow with Neville as a roommate. What happens when Harry starts counting flowers, Neville knows what's wrong with the tv, and Voldemort comes to call?


**This is something my best friend April and I came up with when we were on the phone, and I figured I may just as well post it. I'll eventually get around to updating my other story, but for now I just wanted to post this parody.   
  
Have fun and review!  
  
Oh yeah, disclaimer: We don't own anything from Harry Potter or Star Wars. Obviously, or they would make any sense whatsoever. Oh, and we don't own any of the songs you may recognize.**  
  
_Summer after Harry's last year at Hogwarts  
Godric's Hollow  
Precisely 9:32ish (p.m. ish)_  
  
Harry sat counting flowers on the wall. He was tired of playing solitaire with his deck of 51. He would have been watching Captain Kangaroo, but his television was broken and he didn't smoke. Mainly because he didn't want to smell like his fat oaf of a cousin Diddykins.  
  
One might have said that he had nothing to do, but he was perfectly content counting flowers.   
  
He was almost to 9 or was it 10, when he lost count and started counting again. He was about to start for a third time after losing count again, when he looked out the window, and what did he see?  
  
Voldemort popped into an apricot tree!  
  
Okay, so he apparated there and the pop was the sound he made, but it worked, so Harry went along with it, and got really annoyed when he realized that this run on sentence had to end at some point or another.  
  
Just then his room mate ,Neville Longbottom, entered the room.  
  
"Harry I know what's wrong with the television!" exclaimed Neville. "We forgot to pl-- what're you staring at?"  
  
There was a knock at the door. Neville heard a falsely cheery voice call "Little wizards, little wizards, let me in!"  
  
Harry and Neville cried in unison, "Not by the hair on our--.......wait. We don't have any hair on our chinny chin chins!"  
  
"Well, we may just as well let him in now, as he's going to come in anyway," Neville said smartly.  
  
"Why?" asked Harry incredulously.  
  
"In court it'll make it simpler if he doesn't have to be charged with breaking and entering on top of everything else. Really more of a favor for everyone who has to listen to his list of offenses than to anyone else," Neville explained.  
  
"OOOOHHHHHHHH................." Harry pretended to understand. "Why don't you let him in then?"  
  
"Are you insane? You just want me to open the door and let in He-Who-Must-Not..."  
  
"Oh his name is Voldemort already! If that's so hard call him Tom!"  
  
"THAT'S NOT MY BLOODY NAME! IT'S MY FILTHY MUGGLE FATHER'S NAME AND I DON'T LIKE IT!........Um, I mean....er.......can I please borrow a cup of sugar dearies?"  
  
"Yes Neville, open the door for the nice old lady wishing to borrow some sugar."  
  
"HEY! I am NOT old. I'm most certainly NOT nice, and by no stretch of the imagination am I a lady!!" came the indignant shout from outside of the door. "Oh, wait. I take that back."  
  
"You take back that you're not nice and that you're not a lady?" asked Harry from inside.  
  
"NO! I take back that I'm not old. I'm most certainly old. But I'm not nice and I'm not a lady!"  
  
"So Voldemort really IS the nice little old granny figure that the Quibbler described him as?" asked Neville confused.   
  
"Wait a minute," Harry began " you don't use his name."

**Okay, so that's the begining. I would have made it longer but April can never spend enough time on the phone. It probably has something to with the fact that it's long distance, but hey. (New chapters should be longer.)  
  
I wanted to post this for now. Points will be awarded to those who can identify the songs we've put in there so far. If you're wondering, yes, this fic does have a plot.   
  
I'll stop rambling, now you go and review. How long it will take for the next chapter to be up is directly related to how long April's mom will let her stay on the phone. And who knows, maybe I'll get around to updating my other fic....... **


End file.
